Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
