So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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