She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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