why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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