I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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