Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Enjoy the penises
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
