wat bout pragnant strippers??
I CAN MOONWALK!
i would punch a child for taco bell
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
