I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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