so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize