with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
