There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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