Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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