Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's blow job season.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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