is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
