She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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