Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
