I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
