I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
