1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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