Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
