would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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