woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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