they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
