Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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