No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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