Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize