I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
