a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
