just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize