You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
