Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
