I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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