I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize