So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
