my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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