so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
