I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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