dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
