I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
