i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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