i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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