Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Someone shattered a urinal.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
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never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
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You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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