you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
everyone is single if you try hard enough
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I could fuck to npr.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
