Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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