I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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