i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
