You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
