i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
