Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
