battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
