You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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