it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
