i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
