I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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