You just made me feel so damn special
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize