i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
COCAINE IS GR8
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
