ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
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Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
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He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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