you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
